at grace

I had to write. Today I had the lovely experience of being in a community of people who instantly loved me; they swarmed me with encouragement. I stood (and sat) there stunned, almost suffocated by grace.

I had never really entered the world of liberal, wine-drinking, "holy shit" speaking, catholics before last night.

When is that last time that someone told you (repeatedly, and in front of a crowd) that your presence (not anything you've done, or even really who you are) is a blessing, a delight - told you with rosy cheeks and a twinkle in their eyes, with a loud voice, with wild gesticulations, with JOY!

I cannot remember.

We talked about social justice and the church. Grace. Mercy. Peace. There were people from government, schools, Scarborough mission; they spoke of 'our' collective history, the history of resistence against injustice, poverty; they recounted stories of protests, jail time.

They spoke of faith as if it was meant to change the world. They spoke as if the words, "I believe in the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit" were a radical declaration of compassion married to action. Spirit and power and mystery crackled throughout conversations.

There is a deep and holy cluster of men and women who believe in fighting for justice and mercy and peace. They have invited righteous anger in for tea, lent it a pair of slippers, made friend with it. There to stay. Burning away fear. And pain. Refining their God bits. Making them holy.

For this I am grateful.

...how can I sit here and...

fume over how numb my bum feels after sitting on a telephone book all day because my chair is too short;

and harbour a small but obnoxious hatred (named don) because i wore an itchy sweater this morning and now there are itchy minions trawling over my oh-so-very sensitive skin;

and bemoan my job because today i am not inspired to change the world.

sometimes I wonder.

Perhaps it is in precisely my awareness of my tush, the small of my back, the nape of my neck, the call to participate in the world, that I am saying - yes, amen, hallelujah - to life.

I am alive. I am alive. I am alive. Alive.

PS-by-the-way: this is my first post since rediscovering my blog. i must admit: i forgot. in reference to an earlier post, i suppose i've got enough community without trying to spread the tentacles of my thoughts into the crevices of internet space; i've got community that can itch my neck, hear me laugh, smell my farts, see my smile. i am blessed. enough is a feast!